A Dog With No Marbles

Recently I was out in my front yard doing a little yard work with Caesar, my dog. To be perfectly clear, I was working and Caesar was supervising and chasing bumble bees. While I was working, two ladies came by doing the power walk arm pump thing. One of them, a long legged blond with a strong Southern accent said, "Hey, is that your dawg?" I said, "Yes, maam it is." "Well, that dog has been gettin out of his fence and coming over in our yard to see my 'Missy' for a while," she proclaimed. "Are you sure it was my dog?" I asked. She said, "Oh yeah, he had that white stripe on his chest with the green collar." I was somewhat taken back. Caesar has always been good about staying in the fence. Admittedly, I've forgotten to shut the gate from time to time, but I've always found Caesar where I left him in the back yard. I began with my apologies when the long legged blond continued, "Yeah, he comes over quite a bit. Actually he got our Missy pregnant, and we had 6 pups. But that's alright, we sold 'em all and made some money." I looked over at Caesar who was suddenly sitting very still with his mouth closed and was oddly enough paying attention. As any good owner would do, I stood up to defend my dog's name. "I said certainly maam, I think you have the wrong dog. I really don't think it was my dog that impregnated your 'Missy'." She said, "Oh yes, I'm sure of it. But don't worry, I don't mind. But you might want to start keeping a better hold on him." Feeling a bit offended, I knew I had to end this. "Maam, as I stated and still maintain, it was not my dog. My dog doesn't have the marbles to impregnate your 'Missy'," I said trying to be polite. I could see that this confused her. She began to protest and go on that it was my dog,so I simply put, "Maam, what I'm trying to tell you is that my dog hasn't the equipment with which to impregnate your dog or any other dog for that matter. You see Caesar was neutered 7 1/2 years ago!" She suddenly turned very red and her friend started busting out laughing. They left giggling and apologizing for mistakenly accusing my dog. I looked over at Caesar who's mouth was now open as if he was smiling.