A Dog With No Marbles

Recently I was out in my front yard doing a little yard work with Caesar, my dog. To be perfectly clear, I was working and Caesar was supervising and chasing bumble bees. While I was working, two ladies came by doing the power walk arm pump thing. One of them, a long legged blond with a strong Southern accent said, "Hey, is that your dawg?" I said, "Yes, maam it is." "Well, that dog has been gettin out of his fence and coming over in our yard to see my 'Missy' for a while," she proclaimed. "Are you sure it was my dog?" I asked. She said, "Oh yeah, he had that white stripe on his chest with the green collar." I was somewhat taken back. Caesar has always been good about staying in the fence. Admittedly, I've forgotten to shut the gate from time to time, but I've always found Caesar where I left him in the back yard. I began with my apologies when the long legged blond continued, "Yeah, he comes over quite a bit. Actually he got our Missy pregnant, and we had 6 pups. But that's alright, we sold 'em all and made some money." I looked over at Caesar who was suddenly sitting very still with his mouth closed and was oddly enough paying attention. As any good owner would do, I stood up to defend my dog's name. "I said certainly maam, I think you have the wrong dog. I really don't think it was my dog that impregnated your 'Missy'." She said, "Oh yes, I'm sure of it. But don't worry, I don't mind. But you might want to start keeping a better hold on him." Feeling a bit offended, I knew I had to end this. "Maam, as I stated and still maintain, it was not my dog. My dog doesn't have the marbles to impregnate your 'Missy'," I said trying to be polite. I could see that this confused her. She began to protest and go on that it was my dog,so I simply put, "Maam, what I'm trying to tell you is that my dog hasn't the equipment with which to impregnate your dog or any other dog for that matter. You see Caesar was neutered 7 1/2 years ago!" She suddenly turned very red and her friend started busting out laughing. They left giggling and apologizing for mistakenly accusing my dog. I looked over at Caesar who's mouth was now open as if he was smiling.

Anticipating A Coming Race

Wow, Powerman is just 17 days away. For those of you outside of Sweet Home Alabama, Powerman is the Southeast Regional USAT Championship. It features an 8K run, a 53K ride, then another 8K run. That's roughly 5, 34, and 5 miles. It's kind of daunting to think about in that it's a pretty tough course as well as it's fairly early in the year. But nonetheless, this is the time to shine, to suffer, and to soar.
In the coming two weeks I'm going to have to figure out how to get the necessary training in. This week and weekend should be fine, but next week I'll be in Toronto for three days. The following week I'll be back in Florida up until the day before the race. Luckily I'll be in a nicer hotel with a gym so I can get my miles in there. There won't be too much to do that week, but nutrition, 0h nutrition is going to be tough. So, nervous about that, but I think I can pull it off.
I finished reading "How Lance Does It" by Brad Kearns this weekend. To tell you the truth, I was expecting a bit more. I always enjoy reading about Mellow Johnny, but it did leave me wanting a bit. I was really hoping to catch the secret formula for conquering insurmountable odds. I was looking for the confirmed solution to leaving the competition in the dust. Instead, I got "you've got to the work." Which really is true. Not only that, but you've got to do the right work. Overall, I give the book a B -. It was a great reminder about working hard, staying positive, and focusing on goals. Maybe there are no secrets outside of that. Oh wait, I've got one. You can share it with your friends if you like. Have fun. If you're not having fun while training and racing. Quit. Go find something else to do. Do it with someone you love and care about. Do it to your fullest, and do it well.
Till next time my friends.

A Trip to Mobile and a new PR!

Well Kiddos, this has been a wild week. After spending Monday through Thursday in South Florida, I turned around and made a trip down to Mobile, AL to see Lauren's family. Mobile held their annual Azalea Trail Run 10k on Saturday. So I joined in with 3400 other participants ran the race. I knew by looking at the results from last year that there would be a lot of elite runners at this race. I knew I'd be lucky to be in the top 200. The Kenyans were out in force 9 or 10 men their fighting for the golden ticket. Now Mobile has just about the same weather as Birmingham, maybe a little warmer, but the big difference is the terrain. It's as flat as a pancake. Most of the races you'll run in B'ham find a way of going over Red Mountain which always slows you down. I knew I had a good chance of putting up a decent time, but was concerned because I'd been on the road all week and haven't been able to train. I'll be damned if all that training prior to this week didn't pay off. I started out a little fast, but found my groove and finished in 42:56, a 6:54 pace. A new PR for a 10K by 1 minute and 8 seconds. I kept telling myself to leave it all on the course. Don't have any regrets about pulling back, and I didn't. I felt like I gave it my all. Oh, and yes the race shirt is heinous.
Today, I was lucky enough to have found a Mobile Cyclist group heading out for a 34 miler at 6:15. It's cool to see how friendly cyclists and well all athletes are. There were a few Triathletes out there that I have some common races with this year. It'll be cool to catch up with them later.
Back to the grind again this week. So glad to be home and back to training. Later.

BAD AWKWARD T-SHIRTS

Alright, so I'm in Ft. Lauderdale right now and before you start saying "oh lucky you sap you", let me tell what's up. So, I'm here on business which means no beach time, no training, and no fun. I've been here since Monday morning and if all goes well I'll be heading home tomorrow. I made an attempt to get a swim in on Monday afternoon, but was thwarted at the local Y due to 2 year old swim lessons. I mean come on. These guys need to learn how to swim and all, but how can you take up the whole pool? The guard said that I could have a lane if I came back at 8:30 that night. Well, I passed. I needed to eat and who wants to get in the pool after it's been a bunch of two year olds' bathroom? I did manage to get a short run in yesterday, but that's been it. I've been stretched for time and just plain exhausted after being on the move all day. Hopefully, I'll get to come home tomorrow and see my lovely wife who I miss dearly. Now for the rant...
I've been thinking about this for a while. It seems that every time I go to pick up my race packet prior to an event, I reach inside to grab a size large of cotton disappointment. It's just another shirt that I'll never wear. What's up with these shirts? I remember back in college we'd rack our brains to come up with the coolest t-shirts designs for a fraternity party. We wanted a cool shirt that promoted our fraternity, but also one that the girls would want to wear. Now 98% of those shirts have worn out their welcome in the drawer due to holes in the arm pits and stains on the front. I've kept a few due to the memories they hold for me, well that I still think some of them look cool.
Now, back to these shirts. Just like fraternity parties are what you really join a fraternity for in the first place, these races are the reasons my training my butt off. For those of us who don't get to walk away with an over sized winner's check, these race shirts provide a cool keep sake of the event. Instead of a cool keep sake, we get this 4 holed mistake in print sporting colors no grown man should ever be seen wearing. I've walked away with a turquoise shirt depicting pastel figures swimming, biking, and running. There's a race not too far from home who's traditional tie-dyed shirts have been disgracing runner's backs for years. It's an incredible race. You'll not find a smoother run race, but damn, those are some ugly shirts. My favorites are the long sleeve shirts with writing down the sleeve. Come on! This style was popular back when Panama Jack was king, but no more!
So until the standards for race shirts are raised, I'll keep stuffing my boxes marked for Goodwill with another donation. I'm still hopeful for this year. I'm an optimist at heart and truly feel that I'll see a change this year. 2007. The year of the Race Shirt?

Have some bad shirts to post? Send me a pic and I'll put together a pictorial.

Goggles And An Update

During my last couple of swim workouts, I’ve had a leaking problem. No, I don’t pee in the pool (anymore). It’s my goggles that I’m referring to. I’ll be swimming along, head down, finger tip drag, exhale, exhale, when all of the sudden water will start leaking into my goggles. I end up having to close one eye until I get to the end of the lane and then stop to readjust. If this was just once during a workout I could live with it, but it’s happening way too often. I’m currently using Speedo goggles. I have two pair that I’ve switched out over the last two years. They’ve worked great up until recently. So now I’m in the market for a new pair, and I need some advice.
On all3sports.com they have several choices all within the $15-$25 range. I’m a gear head, and if I can get the newest, latest, coolest gear for $25, then I’m going to buy it. They have traditional goggles and more of a mask design to choose from. I’ve seen some of the top athletes at races use the mask, so I feel comfortable that they’re at least worth using. I wouldn’t mind trying a pair if they can guarantee a better seal around my eyes. There’s nothing worse than having to stop during a race to clear out your goggles. Advice Please!

As for training, it’s still going well. I find myself craving bike time. This past week was the first “Tuesday Night Ride” for the area cyclists. Now that the time has changed, there’s plenty of time to ride after work. It’s staying light enough to ride until almost 7. So with this “Tuesday Night Ride” there are two groups. The “A” group and the “B” group. You can figure out what they mean. I took off with the “A” group this week, something I wouldn’t have even considered last year. This group includes some seasoned riders with monstrous calves and huge lungs. Oh, and by the way, they can freaking fly. I found this out quickly. I stayed with them until about mile 14. The peleton of 50 or more riders was pushing speeds of 35 mph on the flats. It was all I could do to stay with them. Like I said, they dropped me around mile 14 on this scary ass hill. I finished up strong with some other riders who’d gotten dropped. Thankfully I wasn’t the only one. It was a challenging ride, and I look forward to seeing how far I can hang with them next time.

Two bricks on the schedule for this weekend. They are both going to be a little long, so I’m eating now in preparation. Hope all is well.

I Am That Guy

I am that guy that runs around the neighborhood in Tri-Shorts.
I am guy that's also wearing a bike jersey, because I just got off my bike.
I'm that guy in the office that smells a little like chlorine because I swam before work.
I'm that guy that is sweating a little in the afternoon because I ran hill repeats at lunch.
I'm that guy who brings cottage cheese and almonds to the office for snack.
I'm that guy drinking water instead of the blessed sweet tea at dinner.
I'm that guy that can't buy that latest flat screen TV or an XBOX 360 because I'm saving up for a new helmet and better rims.
I'm that guy that always has his bike in the back of his car.
I'm that guy who goes to the bathroom ten times a day because he's hydrating for a race.
I'm that guy at the pool with chain grease on his leg because I biked that morning.
I'm that guy drinking that weird powdery mix in the break room.

I'm also that guy negative splitting his miles in a race.
I'm also that guy passing you on the hills because I've done a thousand of them in the preseason.
I'm also that guy who's smiling and looking for more after the swim portion.
I'm also that guy with plenty in the tank after the bike portion.
I'm also that guy hitting his goals and making it all worth it.
I am a Triathlete. I am that guy.

A 5K, A Marked Man, and Lawn-More Repare

Today I ran the first 5K of the season. It may be the only one. I don't know. I had high hopes for today. I was planning on running sub 20 minutes for the first time. My previous PR for a 5K was 22:36, but I've been training my butt of so I knew I could do better. I stayed ahead of my pace for 2.5 miles of the race. After that I was just hanging on for dear life. Coach ran with me which I really appreciated. It gave me that little bit of encouragement and put a little pride on the line. There was no way I was going to give up in front of Coach. With about 3/10 of a mile left, Coach tells me he's toast and to go on. At that point I gave it a little extra, but really didn't have much left in the tank. I was feeling beat and was wearing it on my face. I knew I was close to finishing, but looking at my watch let me know that my goal was not going to be reached. I had a cleared road in front of me. No one close enough to catch so I kept my stride as I came within feet of the finish line. To my surprise, here comes coach wizzing past me like a freaking gazelle. DAMN IT! He was sandbagging! Coach is an incredible athlete, a gifted trainer, and now I know he's intelligent racer. He played like YoYo Ma on the violin. We both finished in 20:24, but he beat me. So here's my official notice to Coach. You are a marked man. I've got a bulls eye on you that won't be washed off for a while. Can't wait to race again. Thanks again for pushing me so hard. By the way, we finished 16th and 17th overall respectively and both won our age groups so I was happy about that.

After the race, I hopped on my bike for a ride. Powerman is just under a month away and the more I think about it, the more I think it's going to suck. It's a 5 mile run, a 34 mile ride, and another 5 mile run. I can see me killing myself to put up a good time in the first 5 miler and then having nothing left for the remaining portion. I'll have to pace myself.

So back to the ride. I took off through Irondale through this little community that sits next to a train track. So you can imagine, it's not the nicest of communities. I've ridden this road numerous times, but today I noticed something different. A little homemade sign out in front of this ram shackled house read "Lawn More Repare." I nearly laughed myself off the bike. I love this about small towns. Just a little sign that states we're not all perfect, but we're trying. I think I'll give him some business.

Tonight, I'll be sipping on a few beers, grilling some burgers, and hanging with some friends. It feels like spring outside, and it's absolutely gorgeous. I'm not going to miss enjoying it as long as I can. Happy Day Light Savings Eve to everyone. Tomorrow is the big day. Can't wait!

Good-bye to Ellis Porch

Our area lost an avid runner today. Ellis Porch died today after collapsing during a Half-Marathon run on Sunday. Here’s what the Birmingham News had to say about Porch in an article yesterday. Note: this article preceded his death:

Gerald McGwin Jr. has run many races against his friend Ellis Porch III, and Porch has won most of them.
Today, McGwin is hoping Porch wins one more race.
The 30-year-old Porch, one of Birmingham's fastest distance runners, collapsed while running the Seaside Half Marathon near Destin, Fla., on Sunday. He was airlifted to UAB Hospital, where he was in critical condition, according to a hospital spokeswoman.
Porch, of Meadow Brook, collapsed near the Mile 12 marker of 13.1-mile race. McGwin and other friends in the race administered CPR until paramedics arrived. Porch had no pulse and was not breathing, McGwin said.
"He has many more miles to run with us," McGwin said Monday. "He needs to come back from this and avenge the fact that I passed him in this race. That thought alone should be enough to get him through this."
Porch ran his third Boston Marathon a year ago and for the second time in a row he was the first Alabamian to complete the course. He did it in a personal-best time of two hours, 38 minutes and 11 seconds.
Following that race, McGwin called Porch "the big toe of our running group, the one we all aspire to be like."
"Ellis is a known entity in the running community," McGwin said Monday. "If he's not winning it, he's working pretty hard to come in second place."
McGwin and Porch had run the Seaside event several times and Porch won his age group there a year ago. The two had their sights on again making Boston their next race.
"We went to the Red Sox game every year the day before the marathon," McGwin said. "It was something we started a few years ago. He was looking forward to that."

I’m not sure if Porch had a history of heart disease in his family or not. It’s extremely scary to think that someone in such good of shape could still be subject to heart problems. Runner’s World did an article on this situation not too long ago. So, wake up call to everyone. Take the time to get checked out. Know your family history and take measures to lower your risk. I didn’t know Porch or his family, but my heart and my prayers go out to them.

New Jersey and other gross stuff

I'm sorry if I offended any mobsters with that heading. I meant that I wanted to write about my new cycling jersey not the state. As for the gross stuff, more on that in a bit.
So yeah, I got a new jersey today. I've been sporting two "Discovery Team" jerseys for a while. One is from the 2006 season and the other is a cheap replica of the Malliot Jaune of the Tour de France. Don't ask why I just bought Discovery Team jerseys. I ask myself that question a lot. I look like I'm quite the team enthusiest. So to remedy that I logged on to my favorite discount store "eBay" and found a cool jersey. Oh Lookie.

It has several sponsors listed on there that I have no idea what they make. With my luck, there are probably some that make VD creams, condoms, or female products. I'm taking my chances.

As for the other gross stuff, this morning I went on a 38 mile ride with some local guys. The ride takes us through some pretty rural areas south of Bham. I was leading the pace line when up ahead I see something in the road. It's large and triangular. I motion to everyone that there was something in the road, so we all slowed down a bit to take a look. It was deer's head with it's spine and a few ribs. I've never seen anything like it before. No body to be found. I don't know if someone it the deer and separated it's body from it's head or if it fell of the back of some meat processor's truck. We were all utterly grossed out.

So my apologies to the state of New Jersey. After today's experience, I don't want to wake up to find a deer's head in my bed.

Making Deposits

Every financial expert will tell you that you need to save money for retirement. Some say that you should save @ 10% or more of your salary for the future. "Live like no one else now, so that you can live like now one else in the future" is a phrase financial Guru Dave Ramsey likes to say. Making small deposits now will pay off down the road when you need it the most. I can get a little giddy when I start thinking about compounding interest and the like. Now, this isn't a post on financial planning or really anything about money. I have a friend who said that he was going to post periodically about finances and investments but that never panned out. What happened there? I guess he's been too busy losing weight like a mad man to worry about our financial situation.
Ok, back to my point. To be able to perform at your best come "game time" you're going to need to train your but off in the preseason. These are just like making little deposits into the Bank of Ironman. Do you want to insure that you'll be on top of your game when the gun goes off? Well, you need to train. You need to start making deposits. The Bank of Ironman promises a rate of return that exceeds all of it's competitors. You'll never see the First Couch Potato Bank matching it's performance. The Bank of Excuses can only offer you a toaster oven to make itself attractive. The only way to hit your goals is to start planning now. I have to remind myself of this all the time. I fight the lazy demons all the time. "Why are you getting up? It's 5:00 am! What? You're doing hill repeats after swimming 1500 meters?" They're all deposits. I'm looking forward to making a withdrawal this year and making it all worth it. Sounds real good doesn't it?
Don't give in to the urge to slop your way through the preseason. Pay your dues now. The Bank of Ironman is waiting. Train like no one else now so that you can race like no one else later.